


I Won't Let You Go

by KurtbastianIsForever



Series: Don't Let Me Go [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Falling In Love, Infidelity, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7391821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtbastianIsForever/pseuds/KurtbastianIsForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look back to how Sebastian fell in love with Kurt and how he came to terms with his growing feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the two-part prologue of Sebastian's side of the story. Took me a couple days to write this chapter because I want to do this right. I hope you guys enjoy this and also, in my fic, Blaine graduated alongside Kurt and the whole Steroids thing never happened.

Sebastian is laying down on his and Kurt's bed, reading a book that has him on the edge of his seat. Kurt is currently curled up beside him, resting his head on Sebastian's lap as he peacefully sleeps. 

As he turns the page, Kurt moves his head slightly which causes Sebastian to look down at him. He smiles warmly at the sight, taking in just how adorable he is when he's sleeping. He bends down and presses a soft kiss on his cheek, running his hand gently through his hair as he sets the book down after making sure to save his spot. He scoots slowly farther down the bed so he's able to lay back against their pillows.

He get's comfortable and wraps his arms around Kurt's still body, bending his head at the right angle so he can see the top of Kurt's head that is now resting on Sebastian's chest. He closes his eyes, reveling in the feeling of having Kurt in his arms, the man he loves. 

On quiet days like this, Sebastian likes to look back on his time at Dalton and figure out when the exact moment he fell in love with Kurt was. For a while he was sure that it had to be sometime back when he first ran into Kurt in New York at the coffee shop. But now, he questions whether he was in love with Kurt back in high school at some point. After all, he could vaguely remember having his heart beat strangely speed up when he was around Kurt exchanging insults. 

He likes to look back to where him and Kurt first met while he was indeed trying to get into Blaine's pants. Their dislike for each other growing by the second.

Sebastian used to be a pretty awful person. He wouldn't deny that, and he had Kurt to confirm it. 

Looking back at his past behavior, he was honestly quite embarrassed and ashamed. Most of the time he wished that he had never done a lot of the awful things he did in high school, especially behavior he directed at Kurt.

* * *

He transferred to Dalton in his junior year, because his parents were tired of him and needed to teach him how to be a proper gentleman by sending him to a private school. Immediately after he transferred, he found himself auditioning for The Warblers and gaining most of the solos. He tried to hide his bad personality by putting on a mask of superiority, but being the way he was, he just couldn't help but make fun of people sometimes.

Then he heard about Blaine.

The Warblers had gotten to talking about the previous year and their main soloist, Blaine Anderson. Sebastian asked about him, which resulted in getting a picture, which resulted in Sebastian getting horny. He had thought Blaine was extremely attractive and marked him down as one of his conquests. 

Lucky for him, Blaine himself decided to pay a visit so he could give tickets for some school play he was acting in to his friends. He sat down with Blaine, flirting his way into getting a coffee with the guy that very same day. He seemed tense but agreed to do it, prompting Sebastian to wonder why he was acting so nervous. But he didn't really care all that much, he just wanted to get into those pants as fast as possible. 

Just like they had promised, later they got a coffee leading to Sebastian flirting some more and being told from Blaine himself that he had a boyfriend that he  _really_ cared about. That's when it dawned on him.

_Oh, I see. So someone already got their hold on you._

But it hadn't really fazed him all that much, after all, he's had sex with guys who already had boyfriends. Knowing Blaine would give in eventually, he continued to deflect his protests and flirt. 

And that's when  _he_  came into his life.

Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. 

"Who's amazing?" The angelic voice said as if he already didn't know the answer. 

Well, back then Sebastian thought the voice was ear-piercing and annoying. Either way, Kurt approached their table, already making his sassiness known.

He had been annoyed by the sudden interruption and Kurt's very presence at the table. He was getting in the way of Sebastian's flirting and he wasn't at all happy about that. He had a duty to fulfill and Kurt had put a dent in his plans.

Kurt also made sure to make it obvious that Blaine was very well taken as he protectively wrapped his arm around Blaine's. And sure he never said anything mean or rude to Sebastian during their first encounter, but he could tell by the tone in Kurt's voice that Sebastian wasn't welcome to be near his boyfriend. He just mocked Kurt in his mind, as he thought he knew he could make Blaine fall on his knees no matter what.

So, he invited the two to Scandals. He would get Blaine drunk, dance a little with the guy, and then convince Blaine to forget the princess and head to a hotel or a bathroom. And all the while, Kurt would just be in the background watching this all go down and not be able to do anything about it. He was confident that Kurt wouldn't drink even a sip of alcohol, so at least nobody would be getting into any car accidents.

Blaine rejected the idea of going to a gay bar, but Kurt pounced right on it, probably to try and show Sebastian that he could be wild enough for Blaine. But Sebastian wasn't to be fooled that easily.

They agreed to do it the following night and they went their separate ways for the rest of the day. Sebastian watched as Kurt and Blaine exited the coffee shop, Kurt clinging to Blaine's arm for dear life and shooting Sebastian a few glares. He chuckled and shrugged to himself. He felt like he was going to have a lot of fun bothering Kurt.

And he did.

Just like he had planned he gave Blaine a few beers, got him drunk, and danced the whole night away with him while Kurt sat at bar sipping on his Shirley Temple. It wasn't until later that Kurt decided to join in on the dancing, much to Sebastian's dismay, and announced that he was going to proceed to drive Blaine home before it got too late.

He didn't really try to stop them and let them go on their way, Blaine clearly reaching his limit as he tried to make it out the door without tripping and face planting on the floor, Kurt holding on to him like a lifeline. 

So his plans for the night didn't go exactly the way he had wanted them to, but he was convinced now more than ever that diving into Blaine's pants was an easy goal for him to reach in a month or so. He could almost laugh at how little planning he would have to do for this conquest. 

But in the end, it was proved to be very difficult considering that him and Blaine attended different schools. The only time he saw Blaine after Scandals was at the play he was in and when they ran into each other at the Lima Bean as they exchanged numbers for advice concerning their glee clubs, which was obviously not how Sebastian was planning on using Blaine's number.

The next time he saw Blaine, Kurt was there of course. And that was the first time Kurt made his dislike for Sebastian known, noting how Sebastian had weird CW hair, a smirky little meerkat face, and the smell of craigslist. He really did choose to forget that Kurt's rant kind of gave him a boner.

It was around that time that Sebastian found himself feeling slightly attracted to Kurt's gay face, gaining fleeting feelings that he had never experienced before. But being the arrogant asshole that he was, he decided to completely ignore those fleeting feelings and go to the men's room at Scandals for a quick......something.

And maybe he wasn't in love with Kurt yet in high school. He didn't exactly have enough time to figure something like that out when he only saw Kurt a few more times (the slushy incident and when he apologized for everything he had done) before he graduated. In his senior year, he chose not to be a complete asshole and try and get the best grades he could get until the end of the year, applying to NYU and getting accepted. His senior year came to an end and he moved to New York, ready to start a new chapter of his life.

* * *

New York was great. He really did love it there despite the constant buzz of people who were running to their jobs or back to their apartments.

Apartment. Something Sebastian lacked but desperately needed. 

At first he was staying in NYU's dorms, but he was about to blow a gasket and he needed to have his own space. All he needed to do was find a apartment to stay in. And if it meant he didn't have to share one shower with 500+ random guys, then he wouldn't even mind one or two roommates to keep him company.

So there he was in some random coffee shop drinking his favorite mocha frappe, thinking about where he could possibly find a apartment. 

The door opens and the bell on top chimes.

He looks up. 

In walks Kurt Hummel.

His eyes widen with surprise and awe as Kurt stands at the entrance, texting someone on his phone. 

His heart starts pounding at the sight of a once irritating boy that somehow turned into an extremely beautiful man. He's obviously lost a lot of baby-fat as his very defined cheekbones are visible for all to see. He's acquired these loooong legs that start at a perfectly round butt that is guarded by extremely tight pants.

_Excuse my language, but he's fucking beautiful ._

He takes another swallow before standing up to approach Kurt. There was no way he was going to turn down a opportunity to say hello to such a attractive man even if he was an old enemy. It's been more than a year since they last saw each other and surely Kurt's forgiven him for his past misdeeds.

Kurt is still on his phone when Sebastian puts his hand on Kurt's shoulder, prompting said man to turn towards the contact.

And that's it. That.....that is when Sebastian is sure he fell in love.

It was those eyes. Those blue ocean-like eyes that immediately drew him in. He can remember how mature those eyes were. There were bits of sadness, happiness, anger, and maturity all mixed up together in those blue marbles. His hair, which was honestly always perfectly coiffed, had turned into a light auburn color that reminded him of fall leaves. His face was even more defined up close with his skin still pale, a light pink spread throughout his cheekbones, and those plump lips. They looked so freakin kissable.

But of course, even back then Sebastian ignored this foreign feeling and considered it nothing but a simple attraction. 


	2. Chapter 2

"If it isn't Kurt Hummel." Sebastian said smoothly. Kurt's eyes were wide with shock as he stared straight into the face of his ex-enemy.

If anything, Sebastian had a small part of his brain that believed Kurt would punch him right in the face or smack his hand away after all he had done in the past, whether he apologized or not. But quite the opposite happened. 

Kurt's shocked expression softened as he smiled genuinely and his nose scrunched up, which was the present Sebastian's favorite thing about his smile (it was so adorable after all). And in the past, Kurt's smiles always came off as forced or smug, but this one came off as completely friendly as if Sebastian was an old friend he hadn't seen in a while.

"If it isn't Sebastian Smythe. I never took you as a New York kind of guy. Figured you would have returned to Paris or something." He said jokingly. His voice had also deepened to where it was almost sexy.

Sebastian chuckled at Kurt's remark, "Yeah well, NYU has always been a college that was on my mind. If I ever did say I was returning to Paris, I was trying to impress Blaine and everyone else. So out of character of me, I know."

Kurt smiled wider, nodding along to Sebastian's words. It was becoming more and more apparent that he had been forgiven.

"Why don't you come sit with me? I'll pay as it will be my reunion gift." 

Kurt nodded and followed Sebastian to his seat, his smile never fading. He sat down in the booth across from Sebastian as he ordered a non-fat mocha. He turned to Sebastian when he was done ordering and said, "So, how is New York working out for you?" 

Sebastian leaned back in his seat and replied with, "It's not that bad actually. I'm quite liking it so far and now I understand why you were so obsessed with getting here. How about you? I heard NYADA finally woke up last year and accepted you after coming to the abrupt realization that your amazing talent was needed."

Kurt chuckled somewhat nervously, "I'm glad you like it so far. And yes, NYADA finally came to their senses and so far it's been great. I've been living the New York dream for a while now and it's been incredibly satisfying. Especially when a certain someone told me multiple times that by the end of graduation I would be wearing a Lima Bean apron with nothing but my gay face."

Sebastian nodded as he knew exactly who Kurt as talking about.

"Ah, so you remember our first honest conversation. Guess I was proven wrong huh?" Sebastian said lightly. 

"How could I not remember our first honest conversation? You were practically the first person that wasn't Rachel to get on my bad side and actually admit it to their face. And I guess you were proven wrong after all. Though I guess I was proven wrong too."

Sebastian's attention was caught on the last sentence, "What do you mean you were proven wrong?"

Kurt giggled lightly, a giggle that made Sebastian's heart flutter for some weird reason, and patted him on the arm.

"Honestly, back then I thought that you would end up in jail by the end of your graduation. Especially after the whole slushy incident."

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the mention of that horrible incident. It was something he'd rather choose to forget after he had turned down the asshole nob in his personality.

Kurt seemed to notice his irritation as he rushed out to say, "But obviously you've matured from when I last saw you. Half of me figured that if we ever ran into each other again you would immediately start harassing me about any possible misfortunes. And since you have yet to do that, I can say that you're not as much of a smirky meerkat than you were two years ago."

Sebastian smiled fondly at mention of his past nickname given to him from Kurt. He was just happy that Kurt didn't fail to see how much he had grown since their very last encounter. He did promise him and the rest of New Directions that he would correct his behavior and not be much of an jerk after all.

"I see. But there's nothing bad I've heard about concerning you. It's been all good things like how you got accepted and how you've become quite popular there. I just never though I would run into you, but as luck would have it, here we are. And I'm not the only one who  has matured here. Half of me figured that if we ever ran into each other again you would immediately tell me to stay the hell away from you and Blaine. And since you haven't...."

Him and Kurt continued to talk pleasantly after that about stuff like how Kurt and Blaine were still together and how Kurt was staying in a loft with Rachel. That's how Sebastian told Kurt that he was looking for one at the moment and how Kurt told him that he could let Sebastian stay in the loft for a while until he found a apartment of his own. Sebastian protested at first but Kurt dismissed his protests and explained how they had a extra guest bed that hadn't been used in awhile. After some more encouraging from Kurt, Sebastian just sighed and accepted his hospitality, thanking him for letting him do this even though they had just met up again.

Kurt had to leave for a class after that, saying he was going to call Rachel and tell her his situation before he gave Sebastian directions to the apartment and his room number. He watched him run outside and down the busy sidewalk hurriedly.

* * *

After about a week, Sebastian finally moved all of his stuff into Kurt and Rachel's loft. At first, Rachel was totally against him living with them even though it would only be for a month or two. But Kurt and Sebastian were both able to convince her that he had changed and become a slightly better person. So when that week came to an end, she finally stopped complaining about him moving in.

Weeks went by as Sebastian attended classes and tried to search for a apartment, all the while teasing Kurt and Rachel about their incompatibility to not make out with their boyfriends as the curtains that Kurt set up to give privacy to everyone, did not help at all.

Meeting Blaine again was really weird after all they had been through in the past. He could tell that at first Blaine was on edge around him, especially when he was around Kurt, but even Blaine lightened up after a little while. He couldn't really blame him though after trying to get him to cheat on his boyfriend (the irony), made offensive remarks to his boyfriend, and made him get eye surgery after he put rock salt into a slushy and tried to throw it on his boyfriend.

But in the short time he saw Blaine again, he felt like something was off. Blaine always seemed nervous when he came to pick up Kurt for dates, like he had done something wrong right before arrived. And he always seemed to make Kurt feel bad for things that weren't his fault. Like when there was this one time that Kurt had to cancel their date for something school related and Blaine got angry at him for 'thinking school is more important than their relationship'.

And he hated the fact that it wasn't in his place to say anything. Ever since running into Kurt in that coffee shop, he considered him a friend. Even through his slight personality change he was never one for friends, but if you did happen to become Sebastian Smythe's friend, he was a good one.

But again, it wasn't his place to say anything. He was sure that if he tried to talk to Kurt about the way Blaine had been treating him, Kurt would just say it's not his business and change the subject or deny the fact that Blaine was pretty much emotionally manipulating him. There was really nothing he could do except be there for when Kurt need to rant.

And then one night Kurt came home fuming after a scheduled date he had with Blaine. He didn't speak a word as he went around the loft slamming his things down on the table and sighing heavily, Sebastian watching all of this from the couch. When he sat down next to him and sighed again, Sebastian took it as a sign that Kurt wanted him to ask about what was making him so mad. So he did.

"What's wrong with you?"

Kurt turned him and unleashed all of his fury as he explained that Blaine had totally stood him up without so much as a text message to say where he was and why he hadn't shown up. He then went on to say how hypocritical it was of Blaine to get so pissed at him when he had to cancel for a school project or some kind of emergency, when he canceled on him for a reason he didn't know and without even giving him a heads up.

Sebastian would be lying if he said it didn't feel good that Kurt had finally seen the side of Blaine that he had been seeing all these weeks. He only hoped that Kurt would break up with him or tear into his ass after everything he put him through and now this.

But of course that's not how things went at all. Blaine just said sorry and Kurt forgave him easily on the condition that he tell him over dinner where he was. He just went back to acting all lovey-dovey and Sebastian was reasonably a little pissed. It kind of showed that Blaine had Kurt twirled around his chubby little finger.

So Kurt went on his little date with Blaine and Sebastian just sat at home while Rachel was out with Finn. He spent most of his time just sitting in his curtain doing his homework, waiting to see what excuse Blaine had given Kurt for standing him up. He just hoped it would be a good one or Blaine would be getting another slushy to the face, this time on purpose.

About an hour passed by when he heard someone swing the door open and fling something across the loft. He jumped at the sound of it, as it nearly scared him to death. 

"Kurt, is that you!?" He yelled from behind the curtain. It had to be him since Rachel had said she wouldn't be back until around midnight. 

"Yeah, it's me!" Kurt's voice bellowed from wherever he was. His voice sounded weird and scratchy, almost as if he was.....crying.

He quickly emerged from the curtain to see what was wrong, putting on his usual smirk just in case he was wrong. He had a feeling deep in his gut that Blaine would indeed come face to face with another slushy somewhat soon if he had anything to do with it.

Kurt was standing near the door frowning, but huffed in annoyance when he saw Sebastian, crossing his arms and then sitting on the couch. Sebastian raised his eyebrows. So Kurt was not in a good mood at all, which would mean that Blaine needed a beating.

He sat down next to Kurt expecting a rant. Maybe Kurt would  _finally_ dump him and give him a boner in the process. After all, an angry Kurt really turned Sebastian on. But really he just wanted Kurt to stop letting himself be treated like crap by someone who was supposed to love and protect him. And while he knew he wasn't the most....likeable guy on the planet, if he ever was in a relationship, he would make sure to not follow Blaine's example. If anything, Blaine was becoming more unlikable than him at this point.

As soon as he asked what was wrong with Kurt after a date with Blaine Anderson, Kurt released all of his emotions onto him. It was heartbreaking when Kurt leaned into his arms and began to cry, telling him that Blaine had cheated. Along with his heart breaking as Kurt looked into his eyes with nothing but sadness, an anger so strong boiled inside it. He really thought he was going to attack Blaine right then and there, he just had to get away into his bed or else.

So he quickly told Kurt that he should just forget that huge idiot and went to bed. He fell asleep rather quickly but he regretted it when he woke up about an hour later. He just couldn't fall asleep and decided to get up and our himself some coffee. But as soon as he left his curtain, he knew he was alone in the loft.

He scratched his head and checked behind the curtains. No one was home but him. He wondered where the hell Kurt would be at this time of night.

Then it hit him.

Blaine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter is a continuation of this one.


	3. I Hate Myself So Much Right Now

I'm really mad at myself right now.

Funny story, I was going to put out the last chapter tonight and I had it open on one of my tabs as I was just finishing it up. Apparently I was an absolute idiot and didn't save it once after I had only written 1/6 of it. And then I just accidently clicked the x on that specific tab, so I lost that whole chapter. 

That chapter was really long and it literally took me 4 hours to write non-stop. So....I'm just about to bang my head on the wall until it bleeds.

I am so sorry guys!!! I was really determined to get it finished, edited, and posted tonight because it's been about a week since the last chapter was put up.

Don't worry though, I'm spending the whole day tomorrow re-typing it so you won't have to wait any longer. Again, I'm sorry. I just can't believe I did that and I'm surprised I'm not having a panic attack right now. So until tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was a bitch to re-write but I think I did a pretty good job on it and I remembered a lot of stuff I had written originally. So I hope you guys enjoy reading this last chapter.

Sebastian couldn't wrap his head around why Kurt had gone back to Blaine after what he had just did. And that's why he wanted to believe that Kurt had another reason for leaving the loft so late at night. Maybe he was hungry and went to go get a snack somewhere. Maybe he went out to take a stroll around the neighborhood so he could have sometime to himself to think about everything that went down. Maybe he went to go to a friends house so he could talk to someone after Sebastian didn't do such a good job of comforting him.

Really, he just didn't want to believe that Kurt would do so much as text Blaine for another couple of days. But deep down he knew that's where Kurt was. He knew that Blaine would somehow be able to get Kurt's forgiveness so quickly.

And could he really blame him? Kurt was way kinder than anyone gave him credit for. Sure he could be sassy and come up with like thousands of snarky comments in response to one sentence, but beyond all that, Kurt was selfless and he let people walk all over him just so they could be happy. The only time he ever showed any real malice towards someone was with Sebastian himself, though he indeed kind of deserved it. He would never do anything to deliberately hurt someone no matter how much he was hurt by them. Apparently Santana gave him the option to hurt Sebastian after the whole slushy incident but he refused to.

Another very good example being this situation right here. Even though Kurt was completely aware of Blaine's inability to think about how his own boyfriend would feel about his actions, Kurt was still willing to forgive him and give him yet another chance. And it pained Sebastian to see Kurt treating himself like a doormat because he didn't deserve it.

Sebastian wasn't happy about the fact that he couldn't do anything but wait for Kurt to come back. If only he knew where they were meeting up, he would straight up punch Blaine in the face for putting such a sad expression on Kurt's face or for making him cry. And he was sure as hell going to chew out Kurt for returning to that cheating ass. And at this point he didn't care if Kurt hated him. He just wanted to try to get Kurt to accept that Blaine wasn't worth it and that he certainly didn't deserve Kurt's forgiveness.

Okay, so Sebastian had become a little protective of Kurt. And at this point he could agree that Kurt could be adorable with the way that his nose scrunched up when he smiled. And he could admit that Kurt sometimes gave him problems that he had to take care of in the shower, because let's face it, Kurt was hot. And he could agree that Kurt was probably the most sincere person he had ever met so he was a really good person to rely on.

Now other people might say, especially people who knew Sebastian when he was in high school, that he was just doing this so he could get into Kurt's pants and seduce without the worry of a boyfriend. And while he did in fact have certain dreams of him and Kurt doing the dirty, it definitely wasn't the reason he was going to try and break them up.

Kurt was a friend, a dear friend that might as well be Sebastian's best friend at this point. He would never tell anyone this, but he was damn grateful that Kurt had actually let him stay in his and Rachel's apartment for free when he had been nothing but cruel to him in the past. And if getting Kurt away from a manipulative douchebag was his way of returning the favor, he was going to do it. Plus he just hated seeing Kurt in pain.

But of course, his plan didn't go the way he wanted it to. Thankfully, Kurt didn't hate him for trying to prove Blaine wasn't worth it. But he refused to listen to anything Sebastian said.

"Look, I made Blaine feel ignored and unloved. So, it's my fault too." Kurt would say.

And every time he said that, Sebastian thought it was absolute bullshit.

If anything, Kurt practically showered Blaine with love and nothing but.

A few examples. He heard from Rachel, who at this point hated Blaine too, that Kurt was originally supposed to get Tony in their school play. He told Blaine that he needed it for his NYADA application and Blaine said he would go ahead and let him have it since he was a senior. But at last minute, Blaine decided to steal the part from Kurt anyway, and what did Kurt do? 

He bought him fucking flowers and congratulated him.

Another thing he heard from Rachel was that one night Kurt called her crying about how Blaine almost raped him in the parking lot of Scandals. And guess what Kurt did a couple days later.

 _He_ apologized.

Kurt took care of Blaine when he had his eye ruined by the slushy incident. Kurt protected Blaine from Sebastian's attempts to hump him and dump him. Kurt comforted Blaine when he thought he wouldn't get into NYADA. Kurt put up with Blaine leading him on back before they dated and supported him when he serenaded another guy despite Kurt's feelings for him. Kurt forgave him when he cheated.

So no, Blaine's cheating wasn't Kurt's fault at all.

And when Blaine cheated a second time, Sebastian just about lost his shit.

Blaine apparently went to a party, had too many drinks, got drunk, and woke up the next morning naked and sore next to some random guy who later confirmed they had sex and Blaine didn't remember anything. Which again, was complete and utter bullshit.

Sebastian was 100% sure that Blaine did remember everything and thought that just because he was drunk, it was okay. And surprisingly Kurt thought it was okay too.

Well, at least that's what he kept saying. And it was terrible that Blaine was starting to realize that he could have sex with every guy in New York and Kurt would forgive him and still love him. Sebastian could just tell that Blaine was okay with hurting his boyfriend over and over again. That Blaine wouldn't even care if Kurt's heart was breaking slowly with each time he cheated or threw a fit over something stupid.

And it was after this second time of cheating that Kurt was showing just how broken he was.

He wandered around the loft and school in some sort of daze. He stared at the wall when he sat on the couch even if the TV was on. He barely ever ate anything and pretty much only ate one meal a day, and a very small one at that. He was losing weight. He wasn't getting enough sleep. And he wasn't returning any of Sebastian's attempts of teasing with some sort of his famous snarky remarks.

It was starting to break Sebastian's heart too and he was extremely worried about Kurt's health at this point. He was afraid that if he didn't do something soon, Kurt might even resort to hurting himself or worse.

The day his heart completely broke was one night when he got home from going out to eat. It was just supposed to be only him and Kurt at the loft that night since Rachel was staying at Finn's place and Blaine was thankfully back in Lima for some reason. He walked through the door and was surprised to find every single light turned off. It was only 9 so he wasn't expecting Kurt to already be in bed especially since he rarely slept.

Sebastian just sighed and turned the lights on so he could find his way to the table to set his bag and keys down. When he looked over at the couch, he could see Kurt's body in a sitting position, shaking furiously. Sebastian just dropped his keys and rushed over to Kurt, standing in front of Kurt only to find him staring at the ground where a glass figurine was shattered with wide eyes. His hand as over his mouth with one finger inside of it, blood oozing down from Kurt biting it too hard. He was still shaking violently and a few tears were escaping his eyes. He looked like he was terrified.

Sebastian quickly sat down next to Kurt and pulled him into his arms.

"Kurt, tell me what's wrong. Why are you so scared?" Sebastian said firmly. Kurt just shook his head a few times.

"I-I-I accidentally broke B-Blaine's favorite figure! H-He's going to hate me!" Kurt said in broken sobs.

Sebastian just bit his lip as he tried to figure out what to say or do. He decided to stand up and pick up the glass shards and throw them away as Kurt continued to silently cry on the bed.

After about 20 minutes of cleaning up, Sebastian turned back to Kurt only to see the boy with absolutely no expression on his face or in his eyes. He was just staring at the ground and didn't do so much as move a muscle when Sebastian embraced him again.

It was silent for about another 10 minutes, a silence that was scaring Sebastian himself, before Kurt finally spoke in a monotone voice.

"I'm so tired. I just want it to end."

And with that, Kurt stood up and made his way to his curtain. Sebastian could only watch as the outline of Kurt's body curl up in a ball on his bed.

Sebastian had felt so hopeless back then, not sure of what he should or could do for Kurt. If that was how Kurt reacted to breaking something of Blaine's, then it was official that Blaine had achieved the role of the abusive boyfriend. Know Sebastian was worried that one day Blaine could even hit Kurt, cause Kurt himself seemed deathly afraid that Blaine would.

After that him and Rachel would discuss what they should do about this whole situation. There was no way that they could just leave it alone anymore, Kurt's health was in danger. But they were never able to figure out what to do.

Thankfully, the day came when Sebastian was finally able to get Kurt not to crawl back to that ass.

It was yet another day where Sebastian and Kurt had the loft to themselves. Sebastian was in his area reading one of his few books that resided in his shelves.

He got bored of the story and decided to go walk around and maybe shop. But when he exited the curtain, Kurt was sitting on the couch nibbling on his thumb as he looked like he was thinking about something serious. It peeked his interest so he walked a little closer to the couch and stopped.

"You look worried. Did something bad happen?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt turned towards Sebastian and swallowed.

"Not really. Just stuff." Kurt said in a calm tone. Sebastian raised his eyebrows, knowing that whatever 'just stuff' was, it definitely had something to do with Blaine.

"Stuff huh? What kind of stuff?" He said as he sat down next to Kurt on the couch. He notice Kurt roll his eyes before he pulled a blanket up over his knees. Sebastian thought it was kinda adorable.

"Do I have to tell you?" Kurt whispered while glancing at Sebastian. He just smirked and nodded, really wanting to know what the hell Blaine had done this time. Kurt looked down at his knees, confirming that Sebastian's suspicions were right.

"I'm going to go meet up with Blaine to discuss.....our circumstances." Kurt whispered. Sebastian's blood boiled underneath every inch of his skin. He was amazed that he didn't jump up and hunt Blaine down right then and there. He was sure that after this conversation though, he would do just that.

But he regretfully focused his anger on Kurt as he practically yelled, "Why would you? He cheated on you Kurt, again! Why are you clinging onto that asshole!?"

Kurt's eyes watered and threatened to spill over as he half yelled, half whispered, "It's none of your business what I do. Why do you even care? Besides, whether Blaine cheats or not, he's the only person who can put up with my pathetic self and say he loves me."

It was when Sebastian almost yelled, "But I love you!" that everything fell into place.

All those times back in high school when he had those strange feelings, that time where he met Kurt in the coffee shop and he thought he was the most beautiful man he had ever seen, all those times he found Kurt adorable or hot, all those times he wanted to protect Kurt, all those times he hated seeing him cry, all those times he thought about how he would treat Kurt if they were dating, it was because he was in love.

He loved Kurt.

And as Kurt went on about how Sebastian should have been happy about him being treated this way, though he knew Kurt didn't mean it, he really looked at the boy in front of him.

Beautiful, smart, kind, loving Kurt. And he knew. This was a man he wanted to hold, kiss, make love to, and cuddle with. A man he wanted to wake up in bed with, a man he wanted to eat breakfast with while they talked about how bad their morning breath was, a man he wanted to walk down the streets of New York holding hands with, a man he wanted to kiss goodnight as they lay in the same bed together.

Before he knew what he was doing, Sebastian pressed his lips gently to Kurt's and fireworks exploded.

He didn't regret it, but he knew that he should just use this kiss as a way to tell Kurt other people could love him and not just Blaine. Kurt needed a friend right now, not a potential love interest, but a friend. And Sebastian was going to be that friend. Once Kurt was healthy again, then he would make his feelings known, but for now he just needed to be there for Kurt and get him through this.

He separated their lips and gazed into the wet blueness of Kurt's eyes. He seemed slightly surprised, but thankfully he didn't appear to be mad or disgusted.

"Your important to me Kurt." Sebastian whispered. It wasn't a love confession, but hopefully Kurt would know that it could have been. Whether it was from Sebastian, or any one else he would like.

Kurt's eyes watered again as he brokenly said, "Don't let me go."

Sebastian nodded and pulled Kurt into his arms again, placing a light kiss to Kurt's soft head. There was no way in hell he was going to ever let Kurt go again.

"I won't."

* * *

Sebastian opened his eyes and looked back down at his amazing boyfriend. He sat up and continued to gaze upon Kurt's curled up figure.

He nodded towards Kurt's sleeping body firmly as he knew he had to do it now. It was the perfect time. He shook him a few times before Kurt finally opened his eyes, sleepily groaning as he sat up himself.

"Why did you wake me up? I was sleeping so soundly." Kurt said as he rubbed his eyes. Sebastian just chuckled at how adorable Kurt was when he first woke up from a nap.

He stood up and started putting his shoes on as he said, "We need to talk. I want to walk down to Central Park before we do. It's important."

Kurt's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he got off the bed himself and put his own shoes on. 

After they put their shoes on, Sebastian and Kurt headed out of the building and made their way to Central Park, barely talking as they did.

Kurt kept asking why they were going there in the first place but Sebastian just ignored his question and hummed to that catchy song Kurt had been singing a few weeks ago. 

Once they finally got there, Sebastian stopped in front of a bench and looked at their surroundings. There was only about a few other people in the area and he knew it was the right place to do it.

"So, are you actually going to talk now? What is this all about?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian turned towards him and smiled fondly.

"Kurt, do you remember the first time we met back in high school?" Sebastian said as he kicked at the grass in front of him nervously.

Kurt chuckled and nodded, "You bet I do. How could I ever forget the way we glared at each other as we tried to pretend we could be on friendly terms."

Sebastian nodded as well and looked up into Kurt's eyes and he knew this was it.

"I'll never forget that day either. That was the day I met you, the love of my life. I was a bad person back then, not caring who I hooked up with or how many guys I got into my bed. I made fun of people and did some nasty things that I regret everyday now. And I mostly regret the way I treated you back then. There was never a time I didn't make fun of you for having a gay face or the way you dressed. I constantly tried to tear you and Blaine apart not caring how I did it, even getting Blaine to have eye surgery in the process. And while I apologized to Blaine before we split for a while, I never did apologize to you for everything I did. And when I met you in that coffee shop a long 6 months ago, my body and heart just knew that you were the one. It took me a while to realize it, but I was in love with you from that moment on, and now I realize that I even had feelings for you back in high school. I have never in my life had so much as a crush or thought seriously about having a boyfriend until I met you. You've taught me what it is to truly love someone and I know now more than ever that you will continue to be the love of my life until I take my last breath. Waking up next to you, eating breakfast with you, holding hands with you, kissing you, hugging you, eating lunch with you, cuddling with you, eating dinner with you, and getting in bed with you are things I know I want to do for the rest of my life."

Sebastian pulled out a small black box from his back pocket and got down on one knee, opening it to reveal a small ring while Kurt had tears rolling down his cheeks and a hand up on his mouth.

Sebastian smiled the most genuine smile he had ever did and said, "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"

Kurt immediately nodded and brought Sebastian up to give him their first kiss as fiances.

The few people who had been in the area were now clapping and congratulating them. Once they were done kissing, Sebastian slipped the ring onto Kurt's finger and hugged him tightly.

"I love you so much." Kurt whispered breathlessly.

Sebastian batted his wet eyes as he said, "I love you too." 

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter will be how Sebastian comes to term with his feelings and how he felt all throughout Blaine's cheating. Look forward to it and thanks for reading!


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